Driving The Mexico City Way

Rush hour traffic in Mexico City has reached the point of saturation. Gone are the days of boasting about this great little side road that brings you out just past the traffic light that’s causing the jam. The number of cars that come streaming out of all these so-called short-cuts and rejoining the main flow (or rather, edging out and rejoining the main snarl) is testimony to the fact that the roads are full.

For every new bypass, overpass, or underpass, there appears to be a fleet of new cars ready to take up the space.  Unclog one main artery, and another one clogs up somewhere else. Surprisingly, the number of people using the Metro has fallen from 2005, perhaps as lower interest rates made new cars more affordable. Parking, on the other hand, has gone up and most rates are exorbitant, and there’s nothing like driving to fully comprehend the reality behind the headline news that the government has begun rolling back the subsidies on gasoline. In recent years, local authorities have also mastered the use of wheel clamps, or boots, or “candados” (padlocks)  as they’re called in Mexico, with their consequent cash flows (in for the government, out for the motorist) .

Not only has traffic volume reached a critical point,  so have people’s stress levels, it seems, with the resulting behavioral anomalies that will be obvious to visitor and veteran alike without any need to go into them here.

On the city’s cluttered roads, right of way is proportionate to the monthly payments on the car. Exceptions to this rule are large trucks, interstate buses, and beaten up old cars and pick-ups on which the rust is proof of manufacture in the days when they still used metal. Your mostly plastic, fuel-efficient, zero emissions,  lightweight “nave” will crumple to the tune of several years of deductibles and no-claims bonuses while the vehicle in question will just need a dent hammered out for less than the cost of a tank of gas.

If, after all this, you insist on sallying forth into the melee, here are some simple rules for driving the Mexico City way:

• never let anyone pull out into your lane, unless you want to be late to your destination. If a bus or truck does pull out, yield and pepper the driver with abuse
• If you reach the stop line in heavy traffic and the light’s green, enter the crossing even if you can’t exit. If you don’t someone else will, snarling up the junction anyway.
• if you can advance three or four cars by slipping into the turning lane, do it, even if it means blocking the lane when the arrow goes green and getting the people behind you worked up
• if you think the car in the lane to your left plans to pull in front of you, or if it has indicated that it intends to, speed up
• if someone is waiting for your parking space, take longer than usual to adjust your mirrors, fasten the seat belt, put the CDs in the glove box,  etc.

By applying some or all of these rules, you can become a bona fide Mexico City driver, but if you wish to be an out-and-out five-star chilango behind the wheel, try the following: accelerate behind a car that is going at the indicated speed limit in the fast lane, up against the dividing wall. Brake within a few yards of it and turn on your left-indicator, showing the slowcoach that you intend to pass him on the left, without specifying whether you plan to go over or through the wall.

See also: Driving In Mexico